No, I'm not Mormon!

Baghdad Girl

2006-02-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

Check out Baghdad Girl! There was a story about her blog on NPR this Saturday.

TaDa!!!

2006-02-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, so after a long hiatus I am back to rambling about my life and voicing my opinions. So, a few thoughts that have been rattling around in my head:

I am sick of hearing about Dick Cheney shooting his buddy. I think it's sketchy that they apparently tried to hide it...I wouldn't expect anything else from this administration. Now, how about we address the other important things going on in our nation and the world.

Check out a kick-ass blog written by a good friend of mine: http://kuhoople.blogspot.com

I love the olympics!! I LOVE women's hockey, and I'm so sad that they lost to Sweden today. I really though they would win the gold. I also think that figure skating generally sucks with the new scoring system. No, I'm not just listening to Dick Button and Scott Hamilton...I just don't think you should win a medal if you fall on your ass during your show.

While I think that the cartoons about Muhammad may have gone a little too far...GIVE IT UP!! Is it REALLY worth killing people over? The rioters and protesters are giving such a bad name to ordinary law-abiding Muslims, who simply wrote a Letter to the Editor expressing their discontent.

...I had more to write, but seem to have forgotten it now. Damn.

War on stupidity

2005-12-16T15:01:00.000-07:00

Such a wonderful holiday season!! I refuse to believe that there is a "war on Christmas". Who care if you say "happy holidays"?! It continues to amaze me, that a country founded for the purpose of freedom of, and from religion continues to reach to its puritanical past, insisting that Christianity be shoved down everyone else's throats. So you celebrate Christmas, why should it matter if Target puts up Merry Christmas signs? Why must a holiday, which celebrates the humble birth of Jesus be forced in eveybody's face, no matter their religion? I am Christian, and yes, I celebrate Christmas. But I couldn't care less what slogans the malls and stores display. They are trying to make everyone feel welcome enough to spend their money there. It's not about trying to erase Christmas...it's about trying to make money! This is where the Christian right is wrong. They think it's about Christians, and Christmas; when it's really about capitalism and profit. Why must they keep shoving religion down our throats?!

DiG

2005-12-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

So I watched DiG! last night. (I love netflix!!) It's an interesting documentary about The Dandy Warhols and Brian Jonestown Massacre. Particularly the different roads they've traveled in the music industry. The band leaders Anton Newcombe (BJM) and Courtney Taylor (DW) are amazingly talented musicians. Their rivalry pushed both artists to expand their music. I think I'll try to go to the Dandy Warhols show on Dec 10.

Joel Gion, of the BJM is probably one of the coolest, most lunatic people I've ever seen. But I absolutely adore him!! He made the movie. Interestingly, he made an appearance in The Gilmore Girls 2 weeks ago. I haven't seen the episode yet, but I'm sure it was a riot...if you've seen the movie.

World AIDS Day

2005-11-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

December 1st is World AIDS Day. This is my passion, and a cause I have decided to dedicate my life to. I am fascinated by both the science and the medicine surrounding the virus, and saddened by the toll it has taken.

AIDS is the syndrome that arises from infection with the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). Unfortunately, the AIDS movement has lost some of the "glitz and glamour" that it had in the early 90s. Back then, you saw the AIDS ribbon everywhere. Every Hollywood celebrity was campaining. But now, probably due to the new drugs available which have extended life expectancy, there are actually people who think it has been cured. They think it isn't a problem. There is very little education in the schools about it anymore. This is a great tragedy! This week UNAIDS released its 2005 AIDS Epidemic Update.

The numbers are staggering.

Total number of people infected: 40.3 million (25.8 million in Sub-Saharan Africa)
Number of Adults: 38.0 million
Number of Women: 17.5 million
Children under 15: 2.3 million
In 2005 there were 4.9 million NEW infections and 3.1 million DEATHS due to AIDS.

This helps illustrate that AIDS is not just a disease infecting Gay men, drug users, and Africans. Across the world, infection numbers are up. After years of declining infection rates we have now seen several years of increasing infection rates. AIDS needs to be attacked on two fronts: Education/Prevention and Treatment. To do this, we need the support of international government for condom education. The new policy of the United States to only provide support to organizations that teach abstinence is absurd. Abstinence is like communism...a great idea...but not realistic. People need ot know that there is a way to protect themselves. But efforts also need to be made to protect women. Women who have no choice but sell themselves to put food on the table often have no choice of whether they become infected. The same goes for women whose husbands become infected, and then spread it to them. HIV and methods of prevention needs to be at the forfront of education for all teenagers. As far as treatment, the antiretrovirals are amazingly efficient. In the USA people who are newly infected are told to "plan for retirement". Meaning that this is becoming a "chronic" condition, more like diabetes. But this comes at a high cost. The drugs are currently prohibitively expensive. There are organizations working on providing generic versions of these drugs to the 3rd world. But the US is stubbornly protecting the patents of the drug makers. But drug production and cost are not the only problems. How do you convince a poor, illiterate person that they must take the medications every day at the same time, for the rest of their lives? How do you monitor such an undertaking? Because if they only take the drugs part of the time, they will help make the virus resistant to the drugs. When the virus becomes resistant, we lose the ability to treat it at all.

Please, contact your government represenatives and ask them to support more spending on AIDS projects, nationally and internationally. And Wear you Red Ribbons!!!

I'm all for saving the fairies

2005-11-22T00:24:00.000-07:00

Citizens of St Fillans, Perthshire, Scotland protested a housing complex that would harm the fairies. I love that there are still people in the world who believe in fairies...

Girl Genius

2005-11-12T16:03:00.000-07:00

I've got to love a web comic about a woman scientist...especially a mad scientist!! Check it out:

There's way too much stuff on the internet to distract me. Oi!

Web Comic mania!

2005-11-10T22:12:00.000-07:00

So I have lately fallen in love with the world of web comics. First, I fell in love with Two Lumps. This is about the zany adventures of Ebenezer and Snooch, two Russian Blue cats. I find it highly entertaining. Then, I discovered Top Web Comics, which is where readers vote for their favorite comics. It also allows you to link to the various comics, so it's a great jumping-off point for to find more time-wasting material. Incidentaly, today the top two comics were Inverloch and Earthsong. They seem interesting, and since I'm such a geek, I love all that fantasy stuff. So now I will motivate myself to study with this incentive: for every one hour of study, you get to read 1 chapter/episode/scene! This is due to the significant archives that I need to read in each of these. I'm sure once I catch up on these two, I'll discover other comics I like. Now, I know that this web comic thing is not NEW, just new to me. Plus, I learned how to link with banners, so I included the links below (yay, me!)!!

In other news, just continuing with the studying. I can't wait to take this test and get it over with. Then I can go hide in the lab-or-a-tory and be my plain old mad scientist self.

A Real Pirate Attack!!

2005-11-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

There really are Pirates! Holy moly! who knew?

KU!

2005-10-26T22:43:00.000-06:00

I found some nice pictures of campus while browsing for images of Dyche Hall (previous entry), and I've decided to include them The University of Kansas was founded in 1866, and is located in Lawrence, Kansas. It is a wonderful school and community. I graduated in May, 2003 with a degree in Microbiology. You can learn all about the University at the KU History site. And, there are more pictures here.

This is a view of the WWII memorial and Campanile (forefront). The building in the background is Fraser Hall. I loved sitting on the hill and listening to the Campanille concerts.

Strong Hall

Snow Hall

An overview of campus, it's absolutely beautiful this time of year!

KU stands up for evolution

2005-10-26T16:37:00.000-06:00

The University of Kansas Museum of Natural History Opens an Evolution Exhibit next week. I'm really glad that my alma mater is sticking up for evolution in a state that appears to have lost all sanity and most of its intellect.

**This is a picture of Dyche Hall where the exhibit will be housed.

Science Rules!

2005-10-20T14:25:00.000-06:00

Hooray for science! I got a great result today on my experiment, which mean I will get to move onto the next step. This is really exciting for me, as I was kind of in a rut. So I got adequate amounts of protein to do analytical ultracentrifugation, which will help me to determine the stoichiometry of this protein complex. Basically, I'm trying to figure out how many proteins there are in this complex. Days like this make me love science.

2005-10-18T16:25:00.000-06:00

Wow! There have been some curious cats in the news lately...
The World's Smallest Cat, Mr. Peebles (see the picture above) weighs in at 3 lbs! And then there's Five Toes, the Two-Tongued Cat! You can actually watch the owners' (and Five Toes) appearance on the local morning show from this site.

I also found this very interesting site about feline medical curiosities. This find led to the Messybeast cat resource archive, which has all kinds of cool information from cat care and behavior to historical and wierd facts. Isn't internet surfing the coolest?!

Bird Flu

2005-10-17T10:59:00.000-06:00

I wanted to address the current potential public health issue that is foremost in the media right now. Bird Flu AKA: Avian Influenza AKA: Influenza strain H5N1.

This is why people are so scared: in Asia, this virus has has a 50% mortality rate, meaning 50% of people who got the virus have died!! There are very few diseases in this world that are that deadly. The only reason that more people haven't died yet is the virus does not have the right genes to allow for human to human transmission. But the virus in tricky, in that it can switch genes with other strains of flu, and get the genes it needs for human transmission. So far, most of the infections have been in chicken farmers who got the virus from their sick chickens, who probably got it from healthy ducks. This whole chain of infectivity is relatively poorly understood.

So far efforts have been focused on avoiding a flu outbreak in Asia, mostly by killing entire flocks of chickens and ducks. Obviously, this is difficult, because the birds can fly away. This week, bird flu was found in Romania, striking fears that it is spreading. The more the virus spreads, the more chances that it will acquire the genes it needs, and a pandemic will start. With the mobility in the world (air traffic etc), the virus could spread across the world in 6 months! That's not nearly enough time for development, manufacturing and distribution of a vaccine.

There is a good article in this month's National Geographic about the origins of the virus and the work towards a vaccine.

Abandonment

2005-10-13T09:09:00.000-06:00

I'm am sorry to have abandoned my little blog. Take a moment to admire the beautiful tree on Rabbit Ears Pass (Colorado) that I took a picture of recently. Ooh!! Aaah!! Back to the abandonment issue...I've been really busy lately, and I always think of cool things to blog about when I'm nowhere near the computer...but have absolutely no original thoughts when I'm sitting at the computer! So I will randomly prattle about my life for a few moments. Feel free to stop reading now.

My mom is doing fairly well on her chemotherapy, now that they stopped the Oxaliplatin. That is one bad drug, and man she had some terrible reactions to it. Imagine using a havy metal to poison the cancer...unfortanely, the platinum-containing compound can't neccessarily determine which cells are cancerous or not. I'm amazed that our approach to curing cancer is to poison the body enough to kill of cells, but not actually kill the body. How medieval.

My dad decided that now was the time to have gastric bypass surgery (also known as stomach stapling), as if we don't have enough going on in our family right now. Oh well, hopefully he will lose weight and be healthier and therefore live longer. The surgery went well, and he just started eating soft foods.

Asshole boy fell off the face of the Earth. The last time I saw him, he was going to a conference in Denver, and said "I'll call you while i'm in Denver, or I'll see you next week". Guess what? Never called, never saw him again. This really pisses me off! I can understand if he was interested, or had a lot going on in his life etc etc, but what's with him just NOT CALLING?!! I called him and emailed him, but never heard back, so I have now washed my hands of him. It's especially wierd, because he is friends with some of my good friends, and I know I'll see him again sometime. Maybe it won't be until spring and I will really be over it. Because I know all I would want to do right now is slap him. Seriously, who thinks that not calling is the best way to handle things.

In other news, we have about 1.5 months until ski season!! WEEEEEE!!!!

Winter!!

2005-10-04T22:55:00.000-06:00

Wow, winter sure is arriving fast here in Utah!! It barely broke 40 degrees today, and rained in town (snowed in the mountains)! This means ski season is just around the corner! I love the cold weather, especially before I've turned my heater on, because I have one of the lovely heater cats Garrison Keillor talks about on A Prairie Home Companion. Madeline has moved to sleeping under the covers, ensuring that I am so warm and toasty that I never want to get out of bed in the morning!

I went to Denver over the weekend, and got to see some amazing colors as I drove over the Rockies. I'll put up some pictures as soon as I get a chance to pull them off of my camera.

Symphony time!

2005-09-27T23:31:00.000-06:00

Saturday night my dad and I got dressed up and went to see a performance of Symphony #9 by Ludwig van Beethoven. We also went out for a fabulous dinner (a plus when a parent is in town).

The Utah Symphony was conducted by the world famous conductor Stanislaw Skrowaczewski. He is 82 years old!!! He conducted the entire symphony without a score...just from memory. It was amazing!! My dad said it was the best performance of the symphony that he had ever seen (this was about the 5th time). I was also very pleased that it was performed in German, as it was written and not "english-ized"

For those who are no "music literate", this symphony has the famous "Ode to Joy" chorale in the final movement. It was the first symphony to be more than a hour long, and it was the first symphony to include a chorus. In 1985 this version of "Ode to Joy" was chosen as the official anthem for the European Union.

I liked the crisp nature that it was played. The rests had silence, the notes were very clear. I though the string bass section was excellent! There was momentum, but I never felt that the conductor was fighting with the musicians. I was enthralled for the entire 72 minutes. It is nice to find that I am rediscovering my love for music after being buried in medicine for the past 2 years. I'm really excited for some of the upcoming Symphony concerts coming up; including a Dvorak concert and Beethoven's Symphony #4.

New Favorite

2005-09-22T08:12:00.000-06:00

One of my new favorite sites is Wikispecies. This is just like the other "Wiki" projects run by the Wikimedia Foundation, but dedicated to Life. It a really cool reference if say, you need to know what phylum the Burrowing Water Beetleis in. It's still a little bare, but I'm sure it will be have an amazing amount of information soon.

Billboard

2005-09-14T12:45:00.000-06:00

Oh, the insanity of living in Utah...I actually haven't seen thisBillboard yet, but maybe when I drive to Denver in a few weeks. How sad for your friends to only care if you get married, despite all your many other accomplishments.

Jon Carroll: Satirist and Cat lover

2005-09-13T09:43:00.000-06:00

Cute cat article by Jon Carroll yesterday.

This guys is one of my new favorites! He writes a daily column, very entertaining.

Telegraph | News | The cat that turned pink

2005-09-13T09:41:00.000-06:00

Telegraph | News | The cat that turned pink

Hurricanes and animals

2005-09-08T22:39:00.000-06:00

I haven't written in a long time because I've been so stressed out about the aftermath of Hurrican Katrina that I have put most of my online time into reading about this terrible disaster. Like most of the nation, I feel that this is an unbelievable tragedy that could have, and should have, been prevented. However, I have been most devastated by the animal situation. Many pets were just left by their owners! I can't imagine leaving Madeline, she's a dear to me as any child could be!!

With that said, I understand that how in the hell are you supposed to get your animal out if you can't even afford to get yourself out? Much has been said about all of this, and I'm not going to continue bashing our ineffective government and worthless president. Sad though how the guy who's supposed to run the nation's response to natural disasters not only padded his resume, but apparently got the job by being the college roommate of the guy who ran President Bush's first campaign.

OK, here's the important links to help the animals:
ASPCA
Humane Society of the United States
United Animal Nations
Noah's Wish

Slippers Stolen and Some Cat Stuff

2005-08-30T17:27:00.000-06:00

Apparently, someone thought the Ruby Slippers would actually get them "home".

Also, check out some fun cat related web sites...
WARNING: THERE IS SOME SERIOUS CUTENESS ON THESE PAGES.
Don't click, unless you want to smile and say "oooohh...kitties!"
Cats In Sinks, Stuff On My Cat, and who wouldn't love some Kitty Porn?!

Music and such

2005-08-27T23:50:00.000-06:00

Ok, so no more ranting for a while about idiotic men (boys).

I think we should chat about the excellence of Bruce Springsteen's new album Devils and Dust (link on the right). I ADORE it! I think I have listened to it about a hundred times now, and am nowhere near tiring of it. The music is haunting with lyrics that make a point without slamming you over the head with it. I get the tune in my head can't get away from it, both in an annoying "song-stuck-in-your-head" sort of way, and in an intellectual, "wow, what-a-way-to-word-that" sort of way. It has elements of hope, and rebirth, but also desperation, fear and loneliness. I feel like I can listen to it in any mood. Although I think my favortie way is with the windows down, sun roof open, driving 80 down the interstate, singing at the top of my lungs. Of course, this is done with no one else in the car.

I'm also really liking The Duhks, Cross Canadian Ragweed, and Kasey Chambers right now. If you're into folk/bluegrass/americana/or celtic music, check them out.

Communication issues

2005-08-22T23:13:00.000-06:00

My gosh...I am such a dope! Communication is not supposed to be on of my weak points. I am an excellent talker! I can hold my own in any conversation, and I never have a problem voicing my mind. Until I'm in the company of a guy I like. I am so afraid of mentioning anything, because I don't want to "scare him away", so instead I don't say what I'm feeling. I just make assumptions (we all know what that leads to...), and blow things way out of proportion. He blew off 2 dates: we were supposed to go out Thursday, he called and said he was sick, then we rescheduled to Saturday, and he didn't call until Sunday. He said he had spent all day Saturday, still sick, but didn't mention the missed date.

I guessed that he was being a jerk, blowing me off, and/or not interested anymore. I don't understand this not calling thing!! So what did I do? Called him and asked him to coffee tonight. Great! I was going to lay it out...tell him I just needed to feel like he was making an effort, so I didn't feel like I was annoying stalker chick. I was going to say that I was hurt when he didn't call Saturday. That I needed to know where I stood, whether we were just hanging out, or just hooking up. Not in a threatening tone, just for my peace of mind. wonderful plan! Sure to work!

Did any of that happen?! NO! I'm too much of a moron. I couldn't bring it up, all I wanted to do was be fun, have fun etc. I couldn't handle hearing something bad from him. Why can't I just open my mouth and talk openly about my feelings?! You'd think I was a man! So we have a great time, I'm pretty sure he did. Then we walk out, and he kisses me goodnight. Yep, I'm sure he kissed me. He did the leaning. It was a cute, sweet, we're-in-public type of kiss. Then we walk away. Shit! Now I'm even more confused! Why do I immediately start analyzing things?! Did he do that because he felt he had to? What did he mean by that? So, I get home and decide to call. Now I'm going to say all the things I wanted to say. So here's how it goes:
"Hi, I just wanted to say thank you"
"ok" laughing
"for coming and hanging out this evening, talking a spending time with me. I wasn't really sure where I stood until tonight and I wanted to say that I have a really great time when I'm with you."
"good, me too"
"I just wanted to say that, because I'm sometimes not the greatest at communicating"
"I've been accused of that in the past too" laughing
"Ok, goodnight"
"'night"

It wasn't what I wanted to say, but I feel that I got something out there at least. I also learned that he's maybe not the king of openness, and it's not just me. We're supposed to hang out Thursday, maybe I'll grow a pair to really delve into this by then. Yeah, right.

Science and Women

2005-08-19T14:41:00.000-06:00

And this is the field I've chosen...

We're Moving!

2005-08-16T09:36:00.000-06:00

I got this forward from a friend, and I thought it was too funny and disturbing not to post it.
*** *** *** ***
Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided
we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the
other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe
this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people
of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get
Alabama .

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay
their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and
we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need
people to fight, ask your pro war evangelicals.

They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home.
We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the
WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of
the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce,
92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines
(you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90
percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all
living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy League and Seven Sister
schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92
percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90
percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually
100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that
evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11
and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals
than we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
they grow in Mexico .

Sincerely,

Author Unknown in New California

Paul Farmer is my HERO!

2005-08-15T22:43:00.000-06:00

Please check out Tracy Kidder's book Mountains Beyond Mountains. I'll check out the other books that are suggested and let you know, although I'm sure they are awesome also. I have only read about 5 chapters in this book, and am already more inspired to pursue medicine than I have at any other time in medical school. This man is amazing! I love that he has worked with local people, rather than bringing Americans in for 2 or 3 months a year. He has shown that you can make a difference for a community, and sustain it for a reasonable amount of money. Please check out Paul Farmer's organization Partners in Health. I think I will be donating to this organization almost exclusively. I know that my money is going to make a difference, and not going to some corporate pocketbook.

On a side note: apparently my rant last night did some kind of cosmic good, because he called me today, and I KNOW it's not because her reads my blog. Maybe boys aren't so dumb after all...

About a Boy...

2005-08-14T22:32:00.000-06:00

I have a crush.

This is actually pretty rare for me, as I have not taken much interest in relationships or love life for a few years. But here I am, acting like a high school girl, giggling and gossiping with my girlfriends about him, over-analyzing anything he says or does. I hate it! I am never like this. I am usually the cool, collected, "who gives a shit if anything happens?" girl. I like random hook-ups with no strings attached. I'm usually fine if I don't hear from the guy again...in fact I generally like it that way. That has pretty much been my modus operandi for the past 4 years. It has suited me well.

But now, I've met a guy I really like, and I can't handle the thought of a random hook-up. I want him to call, I want to hang out with him, I want to see him. He's smart, cute, loves the outdoors, liberal (rare here in Utah), and into science. We have had some very geeky conversations. I love it! Best of all, he doesn't act intimidated by me; I don't feel like I have to act dumb when I'm with him. I'm very comfortable being me, and am not self-conscious at all around him.

However, when I'm away from him, I'm completely irrational! I hate it, I hate not feeling in control, and not knowing exactly where something is going. Not that I want to have some grand plan for years into the future...but I would love to know that he is going to call me, or that I will see him again in the next few days. I don't feel like myself, and this is very unsettling. So I need to relax, calm down and get some freaking perspective!

I don't understand why he doesn't call?! Right now, he's all I can think about...I wish I knew whether it is the same for him. We went out Thursday, now it's Sunday and I haven't heard from him. I thought we had a great time! I wanted to see him again this weekend. But I couldn't call and ask him out again...could I? Where is the line between interested/fun and pushy/annoying? I'm afraid that if I keep calling, keep pushing, it's going to seem like I'm some obsessive, stalker-girl. I worry about messing up, scaring him away, doing something wrong. Damn! I hate being like that. Usually I don't give a damn. I'm a woman who speaks her mind, and doesn't care what people think about it. Damn, damn, damn!

How do you spell...?

2005-08-14T14:53:00.000-06:00

Man, the Germans sure are having some issues, major
spelling problems.

Man, this sucks

2005-08-14T12:46:00.000-06:00

Poor Guy.

Liquor, EtOH, Alcohol...whatever you call it...

2005-08-13T14:55:00.000-06:00

My dad has been visiting for the past week, and the subject of alcohol has come up several times. He doesn't understand the zany liquor laws that are present in this lovely state. Honestly, no one understands these laws! This is probably due to the fact that the laws were put in place by people who don't drink alcohol themselves. The thing that is the most frustrating here is that drinks are just as expensive, or sometimes more so, but there's less of them. For example, last night my dad orders a vodka martini. The waitress asks if he wants a "Sidecar", noticing the blank stare on his face, I explain that this is an extra shot of the drink served with the drink. So he says yes to the sidecar. He is served 2 oz. of the drink (still tiny my some martini standards). When the bill comes, he has been charged for 2 martinis at $7.50 each!!!

One of my favortie laws is the "private club". You pay, essentially a cover charge, to become a member of the club. This membership grants you the privelege of drinking in the establishment with your friends (only one member of the group has to have a membership). Memeberships are either offered temporarily (~3 weeks), or for a year. Generally, it is ~$20 for a year membership, although the fancier clubs can be much more expensive.

I, like the rest of the alcohol drinking population, have becaome used to these quirky regulations, and deal with them. Dealing with them usually means going to Wyoming for alcohol, or requiring all visitors from out-of-state to bring alcohol with them. It's very interesting, but I guess it adds to the...uh...er...charm.
What we really need is enough non-mormon people to move here and help change the laws.

Lab Time!!

2005-08-10T18:31:00.000-06:00

Well, I've started working in the lab, which is really nice. I feel as though I've forgotten all my lab skills, but I'm sure they'll return in time. I am working with a postdoctoral student who is Japanese. This is highly entertaining for me, because he call me "Ashrey". Back in the day, my good friends Bill, Bob and Ryan used to call me that, so it brings warm fuzzies to my heart. It is actually quite challenging, because he also speaks very softly. I can barely understand him, as well as barely hear him! "Lysis" is "lyshish", "plate" is "prate" etc. Thank goodness that he also usually writes down the things he wants me to do, so I don't have to worry as much.

I love working in the lab, because you actually can use your hands and it's not just sitting in class pouring factoids into your head. I can also go home, and be done for the day. I know that will change once I start classes, but I shall enjoy it for now.

Phelps is at it again

2005-08-05T22:10:00.000-06:00

Read this

I wouldn't have believed that this kind of bigotry and hatred existed, except that I have seen it first-hand. Fred Phelps leads the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, KS. The Phelps group protested most of the band and orchestra concerts at KU while I was there, because everyone knows the "arts are a haven for gay behavior".

The thing that always struck me was their involvement of children in their protests. These people are passing their vile beliefs to their children. These poor children are carrying signs like "God hates Gays", "Fags die and God laughs". This is heartbreaking to see, as these kids don't even understand what they are doing.

One of the most ironic things about this group, is their obvious hatred of America, (Phelps hangs the American flag upside-down outside of his compound) and their belief that God hates America, but they continue to live here. They use our 1st Amendment right to free speech, then talk about their hatred of the system. Interestingly, Phelps himself had an appoinment to West Point (see link above), although he did not attend. Why picket the funeral of a brave soldier who gave his/her life to protect this country? I won't bother asking about whether or not they have an ounce of empathy...because they obviously don't. Who would do such a horrible thing to a family that is mourning? I don't understand how he has been able to take Jesus's message of "love thy neighbor as thyself", and twist it into "hate everyone that isn't us". There is nothing resembling Christianity, or even humanity in the behaviors and beliefs of this group.

Loveland Pass

2005-08-03T11:11:00.000-06:00

Flowers on Loveland Pass

2005-08-03T11:10:00.000-06:00

2005-08-03T11:09:00.000-06:00

You can see more pictures at my Webshots page.

Colorado Wildflowers

2005-08-03T11:00:00.000-06:00

Indian Paintbrush on Rabbit Ears Pass, Colorado.

2005-08-03T10:59:00.000-06:00

2005-08-03T10:58:00.000-06:00

Back to SLC

2005-08-03T10:39:00.000-06:00

Wow! What a week it has been. I spent the week catching up with old high school friends, drinking and getting ready for the wedding. It was a lovely wedding on a beautiful day. On Sunday I drove up over Loveland Pass to Keystone. I met a couple of people from the program there for a conference. The conference was very interesting, and it was nice to start thinking about science again after all of this time. I'm really excited to get back to the lab. On Monday we drove back to Utah via I-70, which goes through the majestic Glenwood Canyon, Grand Junction, and into Utah. Then we turned north and went through Spanish Fork Canyon. It was a quick drive, and not nearly as pretty as the drive over US-40. Madeline was exstatic to see me, which is always nice. Now I have a lot to do before I go to the lab on Thursday: laundry, go through mail, clean out my refridgerator, vacuum etc.

Molly's Wedding!!

2005-07-31T11:19:00.000-06:00

You can see more pictures on my Webshots page.

Sasquatch

2005-07-28T16:05:00.000-06:00

Damn! I'm sorry this didn't pan out. Imagine how exciting it would have been...we could have caught it, killed it and studied it! I mean, er, uh...did I say kill? We would never do something like THAT.

How to be a Girly Girl

2005-07-25T17:06:00.000-06:00

So, the wedding is on Saturday. This has become a big stressor in my life, as I'm not one who gets dressed up and stands in front of 250 people regularly. So here's what I've been doing to girl-ify myself.

Got my hair highlighted - this actually wasn't terrible, as I just had to sit there. I think my hair is a little lighter than I would normally want, but it's not bad, and it looks very summery.
Bought make-up - now, you must realize that the last time I bought make-up was prom senior year! This has been a very stressful experience, as nothing seems to look quite right, and make-up just doesn't seem to be made for tan, hispanic women. I either look very washed out, or like a clown.
Learned how to apply make-up - this is actually MUCH harder than one would think. My goal is to be able to get all my make-up on without having to try 3 times before getting it right. So I'm practicing all week.
Bought hair products - this means gel (several, in fact), hairspray, a wide tooth comb and hot curlers. Why is it necessary for me to buy all of these things? Because we're supposed to be doing our own hair (weee!). Normally, "doing my hair" entails either getting out of the shower and towel drying, or throwing my hair into a ponytail for the whole day. My most advanced maneuver is to put it into a bun using a pen, but somehow I don't think that is wedding-apprpriate.
Learn how to do my hair - Easily themost stressful of the tasks. See, I have very long hair, and my arms just aren't long enough to get it in curlers properly. I also have no ability to put it up without it looking like a magpie made a nest on my head. I will have to work hard on this all week in order to have a small hope of getting it right on Saturday.
Made an appointment for both a facial and a manicure - these will be fascinating. I've never had a facial before, but my sister seemed to think I needed it. I do want my nails to look nice, so there's no problem with the manicure.

10 hours in the car

2005-07-24T22:41:00.000-06:00

After Friday's drive-of-boredom, I decided that the best way to get to Denver , specifically Golden, without wanting to gouge my eye out, would be to go across Colorado on US-40. This would make my trip about an hour longer, but what the hell? I was not disappointed. This is one of the most beautiful drives you could take. Starting in Salt Lake, you pass through the Uinta mountains of Utah. Then you go to the desolate, but strangely beautiful area around Dinosaur National Monument on the Utah - Colorado border. Then you get into the Rocky Mountains, and over the Continental Divide on Rabbit Ears Pass, which is stunning. The wildflowers were in bloom, and I stopped for about 20 minutes to take pictures of the lupine, indian paintbrush and mountain daisies. I would highly recommend this drive if you want to avoid the boredom of I-80. Total mileage ~470.

12 hours in the car

2005-07-23T10:03:00.000-06:00

I drove from Fresno CA to Salt Lake City yesterday. That's ~820 miles and about 13 hours. Now, I have driven all over the western part of the country, I also lived in Kansas...I'm very surprised that people joke about how flat and "ugly" the drive through Kansas is, but never mention the horrendous drive that Reno to Salt Lake City is! I try to appereciate the beauty in the landscape everywhere I drive, and I will say that there are parts of this drive that are beautiful and very interesting. There are interesting town names like "Deeth Starr Valley" and "Beverly Hills". However, it's mind-numbingly, eye-glazing-ly, listened-to-all-my-CDs-because-there're-no-radio-stations dull. Now, I have about 24 hours to get a bunch of stuff done before I drive to Denver tomorrow. I have planned to take the mountain route to avoid the boring-ness of the drive through Wyoming. Man, I-80 must have drawn the short-end of the stick! It goes through Nevada, Utah, Wyoming then Nebraska: which equals ~90% BORING and 10% scenic.

Now I must go start laundry.

Roberts nomination

2005-07-20T11:33:00.000-06:00

I think that, while concerned about the nomination of such a "conservative", I agree with Planned Parenthood's stance that we need to wait until the hearings to make a final decision on whether this guy will stick with the "law of the land", or play Bush's henchman to overturn Roe v. Wade. I wish that the president had nominated a woman, or minority...even better, a woman minority. If he does want to overturn Roe v. Wade, I hope he listens to to 69% of Americans that don't think it should be overturned.

Bizarre sports Vol 2. (animal edition)

2005-07-20T09:29:00.000-06:00

Ski with a Yak!
This sounds like so much fun! I can't wait to go!

Squirrel Sport
I'm not sure if this counts as a sport...but it sure is bizarre. I don't know if it bothers me more that the squirrel skis, or that this is the 4th squirrel to ski.

Polo with an Elephant!
I'm not sure I personally would play this, but maybe it would be fun to watch...

Latino education

2005-07-19T23:08:00.000-06:00

Read this

I wrote a very long commentary on this article, explaining some of the factors the author brings up, and disputing others. However, my computer froze before I could save the post, therefore I lost it all. Now I'm too pissed off to write the whole damn thing again. so I'll make a "short" summary:

1) Latinos are the fastest growing minority in the nation.
2) Many Latino immigrants are willing to do the jobs that us lazy Americans are not willing to do (janitor, food pickers, housekeeping). In fact, much of our economy depends on these people.
3) Latinos are not doing well in school. There are 3 subreasons for this:
3a) This is not a group that has had the luxury of education, many first-generation immigrants can barely read or write. How can we expect these parents to encourage and teach the value education to their children?
3b) Society contributes to this by not supporting public education and extra-curricular activites (ie: we don't want to pay taxes, which hurts the students)
3c) Pop culture contributes to the focus on sex, which in turn leads young teens, without good role models, to early sex, early pregnancy and early marriage. These girls don't see Christina Aguilera going to college, they see her dressing in practically nothing, having boyfriend after boyfriend and getting married. This is also what they see other family members (older cousins, sisters) doing this...what other lesson should they take from this?

This is a very complicated problem, but one that is close to my heart (being latina and all). I also think we cannot turn our back on this because these children are the future of our country.

AIDS Funding

2005-07-19T22:46:00.000-06:00

Thank God this was passed.

Marfa lights

2005-07-17T02:34:00.000-06:00

Check this out.

These occur near where my grandmother lives, in Pyote, Texas. They have been talking about them for years. All kinds of strange stuff happens out in this desolate part of Texas. Like this, coincidentally, this town is also the boyhood home of Roy Orbison (think of the song: "Pretty Woman").

Tha hurrican' is comin'

2005-07-16T09:42:00.000-06:00

Well, we're on our way back to Cali, after a wonderful week here on South Padre Island. It seems we are getting out just in time, as Hurricane Emily is supposed to hit South Texas dead on. It's actually a little wierd, because it's obviously the calm before the storm here. People are quietly getting things ready, and some people have already headed out, but then others are going on like nothing. I guess that's one of the oddities about hurricanes, you know it's coming about a week in advance, but you're not really sure it's going to hit until 3 or so days before. So it's a waiting game. This is in contrast to tornadoes, where you have about 10 minutes (if that) of warning. Tricky little buggers. I find it interesting that with all of our technology and knowledge, we still can't predict one of the most basic of things. I hope that South Padre "weathers" this storm well, and everybody we've met stays safe.
Adios amigos!

Potter-mania

2005-07-15T13:42:00.000-06:00

Whooooo Hooo!! I must say, reading all of these articles about Harry Potter have me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. All of these children lining up for a BOOK! I understand that the Pope is not a fan. What a shame. I'm sure that there are many children in this world who believe that witches and wizards actually exist. There will soon be hoardes of people leaving the catholic church to become witches. This is definately something that spreads evil, rather than spreading a love of reading.

I was actually introduced to Harry Potter my freshman year of college, by one of my professors. He showed us a short video about the Potter phenomenon (I believe this was before the 3rd book came out). I regarded it with skepticism, I must say, but that summer my mom bought me the first 2 books from Sam's Club. I was hooked! This was right before the 3rd book came out, so I ordered it from Amazon (who has always guaranteed release day delivery). The Prisoner of Azkaban is still my favorite. Since that summer, I have waited anxiously for each book. I know that these books are not literary masterpieces, but JK Rowling has created such a marvelous world, with a great plot that is consistent from book to book. She succeeds in making me emotionally involved in the books (I cried when the character in book 5 died). I've had book 6 ordered for ages, and can't wait until I get home on Saturday to open the bok and read it cover-to-cover.

Cat Women

2005-07-15T09:43:00.000-06:00

This is not a picture of a crazy cat lady, just a crazy lady who loves cats...

But, there is such a thing as the quintessential crazy cat lady
I think that this term came from the frequency of animal hoarders choosing cats as their animal to hoard. Cats are easy to keep, as they are pretty self-reliant, so an elderly or disabled person can eaily have one. Like this woman. Actually there's been an update, and new information on the extent of this woman's illness.

This is a sad example of a clinical illness known as obsessive compulsive hoarding disorder, a form of obsessive compulsive disorder. It is a serious illness. Unfortunately this illness often ends up hurting the cats, more than the people. Cats ar enot meant to live in colonies that large. They prefer to live alone, or in small groups. If you know a hoarder, please contact the
ASPCA or other authorities. The hoarder should also be encouraged to seek treatment for the disease.

This has been a public service announcement. I hope you have enjoyed!

Family Ties

2005-07-13T19:19:00.000-06:00

There's nothing that brings parts of family together like a dislike of another family member. My sister and I, who normally get along only on a limited basis when occupying the same room, have banded together against my cousin. She is such a snob! She'll barely even speak to anyone in the family, except our aunt. She does her best to act as if she's better than us, when the exact opposite is true. I don't want to sound like a snob myself, but she has nothing to hold her nose up about. Usually I would be very nice and understanding about some of her "accomplishments"... "look, at least she's going to college, oh how great! she made the dean's list... ". Instead I find myself being spiteful and bitter "it's not hard to make the dean's list when you're taking remedial classes... she's going to a local community college anayways".

I think we're like this, because we get no recognition from our extended family. No one has asked how my test went, no one has asked how school is going, or brags that I'm going to be a doctor. Same with Brittany, noone talks about ehr being a Geology major, or her accomplishments. It's like they brag about our cousin because it's on a level they can understand. When they see us, all they see is girls who went away from home for school. This is almost a cardinal sin in hispanic culture, leaving the family. My mom is the only one of her 8 siblings that has actually left West Texas and stayed away. She has a world of experience beyond what her family can imagine. I was trying to show them pictures from Peru, and all they could talk about is how scary it was, and the crazy way things are down there. Not like "what a great experience! How neat to learn about a different culture".

I believe they are proud of us, but I think it's tinged with a bit of resentment. This makes me sad, because I know if my dad's parents were alive, we'd be the apple of their eyes. My grandfather valued education above all else, and since he was a geologist, he would never stop talking about Brittany. Oh well, not much we can do about that now.

I just wish I wasn't so judgemental and hateful about the way my mom's family acts sometimes. They really do love us, and would do anything for us. They just don't know what to talk about when they're around us, and vice versa. We live in different worlds, and try as I might, I can't seem to get into their world.

Sun, Sand and Surf!!

2005-07-11T12:09:00.000-06:00

I have emerged from the darkness of studying hell. Mostly intact, and only partially looking like this. Now i have escaped my home that has been a prison for the past month. I have gone with my mother, siste, grandmother, great aunt, 2 aunts, uncle and 2 cousins to South Padre Island, Texas. We have rented a wonderful condo, and are enjoying a week of leisure. With me, I have a lot of books to read. These are all "fun reading" books that I have been accumulating, not being able to read anything but medical-studying-stuff for the past month. Here's my list...I'll try to review them as I finish.
Stiff by Mary Roach
Notes from a Small Island by Bill Bryson (one of my favorite authors!!)
Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by David Eggers
When Bad things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner
Just to top it off, I figured (if I have a chance) I'll read The Chronicles of Narnia, so I can bash about how much the movie sucks compared to the books.
Of course, once I arrive home on Saturday night, all will be put aside for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince! Amazon guarantees release day delivery, so it will be waiting for me when I get home. I plan to stay up all night reading it...I know I sound very silly, but I LOVE the books, I'm totally addicted to Harry Potter!!

I'm off!

2005-07-07T12:44:00.000-06:00

I'm heading out the door to drive to Sacramento, because that's where I have to take the test tomorrow. I'm actually staying outside of Davis with my friend Sam, so it'll be nice to see her, and get a good nights sleep. The test is supposed to take 8 hours, but I think I'll be done soomer than that. I have been finishing each section with about 15 minutes to spare, so that gives me 1 hour and 45 minutes of extra break time, or of time to finish early. Im going to S. Padre Island with my family on Saturday, so I might not post until after I get back.. I hope you all have a great, safe weekend.

London

2005-07-07T10:23:00.000-06:00

My thoughts are with London on this horrific day.
Bill pointed out a good article on Wikipedia about the incident here.

Also, you can read and listen to the BBC, they've got eyewitness reports and analysis here.

50 Coolest Websites

2005-07-06T13:18:00.000-06:00

Look at all the fun stuff for to waste time!

*yes, I should be studying...but I'm taking another break.

Oi-Vay!

2005-07-06T11:41:00.000-06:00

So, I want to call Israel later this week to talk to a friend. My mom says she thinks she's has a n international plan on the home phone, so I call the Sprint company to see how expensive it is to call Jerusalem. The lady answers and I say: "I'd like to call Israel, specifically Jerusalem...how much would that cost?" She says: "Jerusalem...now, what country is that in?" I say (real slow-like): "ISRAEL".

Now come on people...you need to listen, and you need to know where Jerusalem is.

Oh, and said friend in Israel assured me I would pass the boards, because she knew and she was in the holy land. I appreciate this very much, knowing the power of the holy land is backing me up helps a ton!

The eve of the eve...

2005-07-06T10:33:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm still trying to cram stuff in my brain...I have 48 hours until I take this damnable test. So, in honor of the test, I will give you all a few of the questions. That way you can feel like you're bcoming a doctor too!

1)A 45 year-old woman has crippling arthrirtis of her fingers, wrists, and knees. Physical exam demonstrates large subcutaneous nodules near the patient's elbows. Serology demostrates a positive rheumatoid facto. The patient's probably disease has the stongest association with which HLA type?
A) HLA-A3
B) HLA-B27
C) HLA-DR2
D) HLA-DR3
E) HLA-DR4

2) A pateint's abdomen bcomes distended with loculated masses of semi-translucent mucinous material produced by a mucinous cystadenoma. Which of the following are the most likely sites for the primary tumor?
A) Colon or spleen
B) Liver or pancreas
C) Lung or bladder
D) Ovary or appendix
E) Prostate or gall bladder

3) A 57 year-old man with severe bronchial asthma presents with white patches on the inside of the cheeks that can be easily wiped off, leaving a red, bleeding, sore surface. He is currently using beclomethasone and albuterol inhalers for his asthma and he is allergic to penicillin. Which of the following agents would be most appropriate for the treatment of thes patient's oral condition?
A) Acyclovir
B) Amoxicillin
C) Cefixime
D) Erythromycin
E) Nystatin

Enjoy!!

Bizarre sports Vol 1. (updated)

2005-07-02T15:47:00.000-06:00

Here's the info on the 644 year old Kirkpinar Oil wrestling tournament. A big hit in Turkey! Big oily men rolling around in a field. What fun!!
*As a funny aside, when I Googled "Kirkpinar oil wrestling" I got a sponsored ad for gay wrestling videos.

Here's one that I've actually played, from Kansas called Field Crumpets. It's actually pretty damn fun, although I never did understand the rules.

Oh, and there's nothing better that a hurled haggis!

Of course...who would want to miss the 10th annual Redneck Games? If you'd like a schedule visit Dublin Georgia online...while you're there you can check out the nifty homeland security threat level banner they have. Click it and visit the website of the Office of Homeland Security!! Weee!

O'Connor resigns

2005-07-01T10:06:00.000-06:00

We're Doomed!
I predict that with this resignation, our country will go back about 50 years. Shit.

Tom Cruise = Idiot

2005-06-30T14:27:00.000-06:00

Ok Tom...I must say that you should be charged with practicing medicine without a liscence after the comments you made on the Today show recently. It is irresponsible to make claims like you did without knowing the biological and biochemical basis of depression and other mental health disorders. You are doing a huge disservice to the public. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but I hardly believe that reading the works of L. Ron Hubbard qualifies you as an "expert" in the mental health field. Can you tell me what the actions of serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine are? Well I can...and I can also tell you that there have been more than enough peer-reviewed studies that have shown the links between imbalances in these important chemicals and a multitude of disorders. Oh, and Ritalin (generic: methylphenidate) did not start out as a street drug, it became one because it has a high abuse potential due to it's actions in the brain. That's why there are new drugs with less abuse potential that are used more frequently than Ritalin. But the same can be said of morphine, which is one of the best pain medicines available. If you've ever had surgery, you would know.

Bravo to the Australian Psychiatrists who came out with this statement. I hope that the American Psychiatrists follow with one too. I also hope that lay people don't put very much stock in the words of a celebrity and continue their treatments.

How cute!

2005-06-29T19:30:00.000-06:00

Awww, don't you just want one of your own?

First loves

2005-06-28T23:44:00.000-06:00

I had a wonderful visit on Sunday with a good friend from high school. That sentence is so nice and benign, until I add that this friend was also my first boyfriend, and my first love. I've been thinking a lot about love lately, mostly due to the fact that just about everyone in Utah is in love and I am not. There's also the whole fact of my best friend's upcoming wedding to just rub a little bit of salt in the wound. But I digress...

First love is a wonderful, yet terrible experience. It is then that you open yourself up to someone and, usually get hurt. First love = First hurt. Now that's just cruel. But, there's obviously something there that makes you want to love again. Why are we so masochistic as to return to a feeling that we know leaves us vulnerable to misery, pain and anger? I personally have never gotten over my first love, something that I am reminded of every time I hang out with this guy. We still have a lot in common, and have incredible conversations. I feel the tug of attraction while I'm around him...But I wonder: am I really attracted, or is it just memory? All the feelings tied to our past. I don't feel like this if I hangout with other old boyfriends. Now, all I can do is think of him...Then I play that terrible little game of "what if". What if we hadn't dated freshman year of high school, but rather later? What if I had stayed in Colorado? But then there's also: What if we'd never dated? How much of our dating behaviors and preferences are based off of our first experiences? I think that it is necessary, and even beneficial to not only experience love, but to experience pain, loss, anger, betrayal. Without knowing those emotions personally, how can you expect to have a complete relationship? Which now brings up an interesting question: If first break-up = first emotions and emotions = full relationship then maybe the whole "first love" thing is just a sentimental emotion about a relationship that really wasn't that great, but was your first. It's amazing, because when I think about this guy, I'm going off of a 3 month relationship, in which the 1st month neither of us could drive! My dad drove us to our first dance. Then I try to remember what was so great about us, and all I remember is the making-out with him. This is in contrast with other relationships, which I have great memories of dates, conversations, fun times, in addition to the making-out. So, why do I think that this was my first love? I'm not really sure. Maybe it's just something I tell myself to explain away some of the unresolved emotions. Maybe I say it now, because I think he's someone I could be in love with now. Of course, I could also just be completely off my rocker.

Woo! What a long rambly post for tonight. I'll need to lighten it up a bit tomorrow!

Hawaii loves their pets!

2005-06-25T11:40:00.000-06:00

Go Hawaii!!

Victory and Travels

2005-06-25T09:04:00.000-06:00

It seems my mom has done well on her first round of chemo. No major side effects, and she even drove herself to the doctor yesterday. I want to write a long nasty post about the terrible-ness that is the doctor's office, and the abhorent infusion room, but that will have to be another time. See I have less than two weeks now until I take the boards, and I am freaking out. Every moment I spend doing something other than studying I feel guilty.

With that said...I'm in Colorado for the weekend!! Weee. I came out her for my best friends bachelorette party/birthday weekend. Oh, and there's a wedding shower too. Needless to say, I'm not going to get much studying done and I will be feeling guilty, but that ok, cause what are friends for? Besides, I am very much needed here to keep the party lively! Oh, I've also put the link on the right if anyone is REALLY interested in what the bridemaid's dresses look like. A warning though...I don't look anywhere near as good as that girl.

1st chemo treatment

2005-06-23T00:49:00.000-06:00

My mom starts chemo tomorrow. I hope that all goes well. Chemotherapy has changed alot in recent years though, apparently they're actually just going to hook her up to a portable pump, that looks a little like a remote control. They attach this to a port, that was inserted under her skin last week. The port is basically an IV, with the tube going into her heart. This allows for delivery of the chemo, and since the port is under the skin, she doesn't have to get stuck with needles all the time. Using the pump means that she can continuously get chemo over two days, then have 12 days off, instead of getting a huge amount every couple of days. I don't necessarily understand it all, so I'll post an update after her appointment.

You Yob!!!

2005-06-20T00:10:00.000-06:00

Happy Father's Day...yay for daddies!

So the young yobs in Britain have taken up Happy Slapping because there's apparently nothing better to do than hit strangers and laugh at them. Hmm...me thinks they watched "A Clockwork Orange" one too many times. I would love to write more, but my wrists are killing me, and I'm wearing my braces, which make typing very difficult.

We're going to the oncologist tomorrow, we'll finally find out when my mom is going to start chemo (maybe it'll even be this week). All I can think is that those damned cancer cells have been growing unchecked for the past 3 weeks, who knows where they've gone in that time. See? Ignorance really is bliss. I hate knowing about all of this stuff, but still being unable to DO anything. But at least I can educate:

At age 50, get your damned colonoscopy!!! It not that bad, you don't remember anything, and they catch things before they become cancer.
Also, support the American Cancer Society. They're good. There's lots of information from the National Cancer Institute, because they do and support excellent research for better medications, and maybe one day...cures.

PS: I had a complaint about the lack of colon pictures so here's a nice group of shots. Enjoy!!

Parental rights?

2005-06-17T10:22:00.000-06:00

Well, I wrote about the idiotic public school system earlier this week, now it's only fair that include idiotic parents.
Example 1: Come on people, radiation therapy is used on thousands of children across the US and the world. Would that REALLY be the case if it CAUSED breast cancer, stunted growth, or retardation. Is is better that your child DIES?! I think that part of the reason this is so sad is that the parents are truly in denial about the severity of their daughters illnes, and are just dumb enough to be really dangerous.

Here's a whole website full of these loonies. This group was very active in the Parker Jensen case in Utah a few years back (I can't find a few good synopsis, but basically it's this: boy had rare cancer, doctors removed tumor and recommeded chemo, parents said no it will make him sterile, doctors called state, state tried to take custody, parents flee state, long long battle ensues, many doctors involved, chemo still recommended, but state is forced to back off over public outrage.) These peoples insist "my child, my choice"; well yes, it is your choice, because we assume most people would follow the natural parental instinct to do what is best for their offspring. However, why should a child be forced to suffer or even die because of a choice the parent makes? No one throws a fit when a child is removed from an abusive household, or if the child is living in a crack house...but try to give the child health care, and it becomes a capital case.

Now, now...I do think parents have rights to be involved in choosing the healthcare of the child. For example, in the Parker Jensen case, the parents wanted to get a second (and third, and fourth) opinion. There is nothing wrong with researching all of the options and then choosing the one you are most comfortable with, but it needs to be done within reason, and within a reasonable time frame. The state does need to look out for the child, but should also try to avoid knee-jerk reactions (like charging the Jensen's with kidnapping when they left the state).

Idiocy in public schools

2005-06-15T11:46:00.000-06:00

Yet another example of the public schools being too stupid for their own good. Here we have some intelligent, responsible, school kids demonstrating a valid use of hypothesis driven science, and they are banned from the SCIENCE competition. Now, if they were shooting off guns for the hell of it, I could understand the concerns of the committee; but these boys were showing the danger of the guns, and they even went so far as to get ballistics gel.

This is also an example of idiotic schools. For God's sake, it's a freaking bolo! It's not like he wanted to march in full Regalia.

And, of course, no discussion on the idiocy of the public school system would be complete without the evolution vs intelligent design debate. Evolution, while still a "theory" makes sense, it's been proven to the best of our ability...how else do you explain that chimpanzees and humans have a 98% concordance rate in our DNA . I hate the argument that we are "belittling" ourselves by saying we come from "lesser species". Who are we to say we are the most superior species, except that we're the only ones who can say it, and no other species is willing to argue with us. Who are these people? Why is our country stepping back 80 years?! These people who are arguing against the teaching of evolution were taught evolution, and it obviously didn't indoctrinate them enough to change their ultra-conservative views, so why should they be so worried about their children? I would say they're being monkeys, but i would hate to degrade our noble cousins.

Stressified Randomness

2005-06-15T00:39:00.000-06:00

** Note, I have learned how to link to things in my blog. This is very exciting for me, so I'm sorry if I went a little overboard. I also figured out how to put up some links on the right side. Wee!

I wish I had some fun and exciting stories today, but I don't. I'm all worn out. This studying is killing me! Add in an ounce of family distress, and I pretty much have lost the ability to function. I remember I used to have a social life, I used to be interesting, I used to watch TV, read for fun and all kinds of other fun stuff (ask Bill, I'm sure he remembers).
Then medical school happened.
Now, I still have a ok time (as ok as it can be in the land of moroni...yes that statue is really there...) but since The Boards are upon me I have lost everything. Let me explain that this is a huge test: 8 hours, 350 questions on everything we're supposed to have learned in the last 2 years. The results of this test determine what residencies you can get into and where (ie the difference between going to Stanford and wichita KS). Talk about a pain in the ass. I'm sure that knowing the difference between AE amyloid and AA amyloid is single-handedly going to determine how good of a physician I will be.

Egad, just thinking about this makes me want to drink... What time is it? That's damn right...it's Beer-thirty.
**Not to self: write a journal entry on the kookiness of Utah, particularly the liquor laws.

My cat Madeline, would also like to invite everyone to read her blog on Catster. There's also beautiful pictures of her... if you absolutely have nothing better to do, or if you like to look at pictures of pus... er cats.

Oh, I got the new Beck CD Guero, and the new Ben Folds CD Songs for Silverman. I think they're both great, and are easily the 2 CDs I've been the most excited for in a long time!! Check 'em out.

Not Guilty! Oh the insanity.

2005-06-13T15:11:00.000-06:00

I hate to admit this, but I am taking a break from studying and watching, yes watching the TV to see what the jury has decided on Michael Jackson's trial. Now I like Michael's work as much as anyone else, particularly his earlier stuff. But I think this trial serves as enormous commentary on our society and its values. I am in shock at the sheer number of people who have nothing better to do on a Monday afternoon than to gather outside a courthouse supporting someone they don't even know. These people are clapping, screaming releasing birds, it's unbelievable. Don't you have something better to do with your life?! This has just become such a circus. Now, I think the man is loony, and probably has done terrible things (I mean, who hangs their child over a balcony?!). I also think that there is probably no way that Jackson would have ever been convicted. In America our gods are the athletes and rock stars, they can afford to buy star defense lawyers, and use the media to spread their own story. Blah...it just makes me tired. Stupid media, stupid Jackson, stupid people. I just hope that he doesn't harm any more children, although he probably will. Of course, what parent would let their child anywhere near Michael Jackson after all of this? If something happens, then the parent should be charged just as much as Jackson himself.

It's all falling apart

2005-06-12T23:10:00.000-06:00

You know there's a point in everyone's life when things seem to be going pretty well. People are generally happy, generally healthy and generally successful in their pursuits. This is not that time in my life. I hate to start my second post with a depressing conversation, but this seems to be as good a place as any to try and sort out my feelings. I suppose I could visit a therapist, but this is free and they are not.

I think that one of the most interesting events that can happen to a medical student is for them to become a patient. The second most interesting event is for one of their parents to become a patient. I have had both of these events happen in the past 6 months. I will blow over the situation concerning my patient-ness (simple wrist surgery), and move on to the parent patient-ness. See they way medical school works is that they teach you a whole bunch of information about a whole bunch of subjects, then you realize that not a lot of it is useful. You realize that you have learned just enough to make you extremely dangerous, but just as ineffective. You hear certain "catch phrases" and you can spout off medications, pathology, genetics, biochemistry, but you can't tell a thing about prognosis, procedures, or how to treat a patient like a person. Even if said patient is your mother.

Another interesting thing is that I have been trained to recognize all forms of defense mechanism, but not how to react or help people struggling with bad news. Everyone in my family is responding differently to the terrible news we've gotten, but we are not responding in complementary ways, which is leading to more turmoil and strife. I wish that we could band together and become the ideal nuclear, cohesive family; completely supportive and perfect in every way. But we haven't, we have been falling apart. Bickering amongst everyone is at an all-time high. Everyone thinks they're acting appropriately and that everyone else is acting like asses. Obviously we are not all correct.

So my mom has cancer. Yes the dreaded, terrible, despicably vague disease that everyone fears in some way or another. I don't know that everyone fears getting cancer, I think they fear someone they love getting cancer. This is because we have all seen the tragic movies, heard the terrible stories; the treatment is almost as bad as the disease, people spend their last years of life miserably clinging to some hope that this time the drugs will work. I think that part of our fear is that we don't know how we will react to something like this. We want to believe that we will be able to be strong, understanding, supportive, caring, and hold it all together in the face of this. You hear that someone has cancer, and you don't automatically think "ok, so they'll go in, find the tumor, take it out and that will be all". Unfortunately, I think people automatically think of chemo, losing hair, lots of sickness, even death. I did, when I first got the news. My mom accuses us of having her buried already. This is, of course, in no way our intention, but rather a sort of conditioned response gleaned from our "experiences" with the disease (movies, friends, books, etc).

My way of handling this has been to bury myself in learning about colon cancer, current treatments, and specific tests. This is called intellectualization; my mom accuses me of treating her like another patient, when all I want to to learn the most so I can get her the best treament. But, I have to admit that some of the stuff I have been reading hasn't been the rosiest. I try to ignore it, and only read studies that show great survival rates and wonderful outcomes. But, as a trained scientician, I cannot do that. I am plagued by impatience, as I want to meet with the doctor NOW, get her treatment started YESTERDAY, and have her better by the end of the summer. In reality, we will meet with the oncologist on Tuesday, and probably not start therapy for a week or so. So, my life is kind of on hold right now.

I'm supposed to be studying for a test that all medical students ahve to take and pass in order to becom a doctor; it is call The Boards. This test is roughly similar to the SATs: multiple choice, many subjects. But, it covers only the information learned in the first 2 years of medical school. There is no english/verbal/essay section, just 7 blocks of 50 questions in 8 hours. If you don't pass, you can't become a doctor. If you don't do well, you won't get a good residency. So this pretty much determines my future. How in the hell am I supposed to concentrate enough to study the 10 hours a day I need to study for the next month?! My mom wants me to continue as if nothing is going on, but I just haven't been able to. the good thing about the boards is that you pick your own test date, so I can push it back a bit...but I don't have forever.

OK, enough of the deep thoughts. I'm tired, you're tired of reading this; so how about we adjourn for the evening?

What an opening!

2005-06-12T00:23:00.000-06:00

Ah, a blog. I am now a blogger. Hmmm... Well I've always been terrible at journaling, so I guess we'll se how this all works out. I'm going to try really hard to update frequently, so my friends can have a better idea of what I've been up to. This is a sad commentary on how crazy busy my life has been for the past few years. Oh well, it happens to the best of us. Here's some fun links that I've found are excellent time-wasters:
www.catster.com
www.kittenwars.com
www.ballofdirt.com

Oh, my cat is on Catster...her name is Madeline.